YES OMG.
thegirlwiththebaddragontattoo:
… Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which was seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.this is so terrible
I want so bad to make a dramatic reading of this
I lost it at throbbing meat wand omg
what.
i want this on my blog forever holy shit
holy
shit
“galloping abs”
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery.
This is a real published book.
I….just did a dramatic reading of this. orz Oh dear god what have I done!
Beautiful.
One of my hobbies is to read passages from terribly written books such as these in the most solemn voice I can muster, while my friends alternate between telling me to shut up and laughing.
those metaphors
“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”
what do you call a cow with a twitch
beef jerky
what do you call a cow that just gave birth
decalfinated
what do you call a cow with no legs
ground beef
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
pumpkinpasties-and-jammiedodgers:
what in the fuckkkkkkkkkkkk
I tried it out and I went inside it. INSIDE IT. INSIDE.
^The dashboard. A digital frontier. I tried to picture clusters of information as they traveled down the screen. What do they look like? Ships, motorcycles, with the sidebar like a freeway. I kept dreaming of a world I thought I’d never see. And then…one day…I GOT IN…..
I hate to reblog my own video, but this comment above was too good not to share with everyone.
SWEET JEEZUZ
this guy TALKING
HOLY SHIT
(via imgTumble)Omg imagine if it was pouring with rain and just ugh so cosy and umf
Imagine waking up in the middle of a snowstorm. It’d be like a reverse snowglobe.
REVERSE.
SNOWGLOBE.
imagine waking up to a bear trying to rip into your home.
This bed is not for fucking in.
this bed is definitely for fucking in.
mommmmy :)))
^^^people of tumblr, i love you.
